During this last year we have become experts at being flexible, at finding silver linings, at using new technology, at creating new ways to mark life-cycle events. It's OK to take a day off from all of that to acknowledge and to feel some of the grief and loss.
During this last year we have become experts at being flexible, at finding silver linings, at using new technology, at creating new ways to mark life-cycle events. It's OK to take a day off from all of that to acknowledge and to feel some of the grief and loss.
As we mark the one year anniversary since COVID created the need for us to physically separate ourselves from one another I hear a lot of people talking about how tired they feel with managing day-to-day life in this complicated environment. Many are feeling the weight of making decisions for themselves and their loved ones about what is safe and what is not and many of us are grieving the loss of the things we had planned for the year, lost time with those that we care about, and some of us are grieving the loss of loved ones that this illness has taken from us.
At times when I am feeling down or awash in difficult emotions, I often turn to music to lift me up. The song that came to mind as I heard friends, relatives and colleagues talk about their emotions on this 1 year anniversary of living with COVID was You Are Loved (Don’t Give UP) by Josh Groban.
During this last year we have all become experts at being flexible, at finding silver linings, at using new technology to fill in the gaps, at creating new ways to mark life-cycle events – all of that is remarkable and worthy of celebrating. It is also OK to take a day off from all of that to acknowledge the effort it has taken and to feel some of the grief and loss.
Napoleon Bonaparte famously said:
“Courage isn't having the strength to go on - it is going on when you don't have strength.”
I find that thought very comforting. It helps me let go of the expectation that I always have to feel strong or brave – all that I need to do is keep putting one foot in front of the other.
As more and more people get vaccinated and we begin to slowly return to activities that we enjoyed before COVID there will be moments of great joy and celebration. In addition, there may be times when doing those things may bring to the surface some of the feelings of loss and grief for what me missed out on over the last year. Feeling those feelings - if they do arise – is not a sign of weakness – it is simply a part of processing the extraordinary experience that we all have been through.
For many of us COVID began precipitously – one day we were going about our business as usual and then the next day everything changed. I am guessing that emerging from COVID is going to be a slower and more gradual process for many of us. Learning what feels safe and when is going to be challenging and there likely will be times when we feel that we take one step forward and then back again.
Martin Luther King Jr. reminds us that it is not how quickly you move that it is most important it is that you keep moving forward – he put it this way:
“If you can't fly then run, if you can't run then walk, if you can't walk then crawl, but whatever you do you have to keep moving forward.”
Remember, as you navigate your way forward there will likely be times when you stumble or take a step back – don’t worry and don’t give up – you will find your way and you have a community of friends, family and colleagues to lift you up and help along the way.
Carl E. Josehart, MSW (he/him/his)
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